Farewell
by Infinity and Zero
Summary: Oneshot, AU without Zero Requiem. What if Knightmares weren't just machines for people to pilot? What if they were something much more? Unfortunately for Suzaku Kururugi, he learns this in a manner he never thought would be possible.


**A/N: Crackship AU. Zero Requiem did not happen. Suzaku and his Lancelot is the ship in this. This is why you shouldn't have 3 AM skype chats discussing what's a viable ship and what isn't. Because in the end, you'll hurt yourself more than anything.**

* * *

  
 _Have you ever heard this story before?_  
 _About a supremely talented pilot who was later known as the 'White Death' of Britannia._  
 _I'm sure you've heard of the man, but what of his relationship with his personal Knightmare frame?_  
 _Unlike any other, the frame was more than a tool of destruction._  
 _To Suzaku, he was so much more._  
 _A friend, mentor, companion, or even family._  
 _But as fate would have it, this was never made to be._  
 _As life flashed before his eyes, the pilot is left to look upon the shattered glass._  
 _And all he sees is an abandoned friend._

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Awakening**

It was quite unthinkable, but Suzaku had been allowed to stay around despite his heritage. The surrounding soldiers and officers had scorned him harshly for being an 'eleven' as he was. It mattered not that he was the son of the prime minister, all that mattered was the fact that he _wasn't_ Britannian _._

And frankly, it hurt. Though Cecile and Lloyd had never judged him for his bloodline. Though it wasn't like Lloyd cared, all that mattered to the eccentric earl was the fact that he was set to test the prototype Knightmare that he had developed, the first 7th generation frame. He had no right to complain about it, so he complacently accepted the key from the white-haired technician. It dangled from the cord it was strung to, the golden material glimmering in the light. It consisted of a circle, rimmed by a smaller and thinner one, and then branched down into overlaying rectangles. At the end was the 'key' segment that was used for activation.

"Go on ahead." Lloyd said invitingly, holding out his arm and gesturing to the hangar where the unactivated frame resided. It was sleek, obviously designed more for speed rather than defense or attack power. The pristine, flawless white armor grazed with polished gold gave it a sharp distinction among other dully colored frames.

Nodding to both Cecile and Lloyd, he pulled himself into the pilot's seat and activated the frame. The response was near instant. Screens flared to life, text scrolling down in frenzies as he situated himself properly and took a grip on the controlling handles. The activation key was inserted in the slot as the frame came to life. Cecile's eyes grazed over the screen that displayed the conditions. "Everything seems fine..." She affirmed. "Suzaku, you may launch."

There was no hesitation as the knightmare soared away from the hangar, gliding effortlessly along the ground. Flight mechanisms for knightmares had not yet been developed, as they were barely more than a concept as of the time. But even without the ability to soar, the brilliant, pearly frame hovered over the earth below without trying, as if it were a deity that had descended onto the earth.

For Suzaku, it was more than he could ask for. It was quick, powerful, and absolutely flawless in his eyes, despite it being a prototype. That hardly mattered to him. And Lloyd had also mentioned something else back at the hangar. A new feature, he had said. Nothing to do with battle. Frankly that made Suzaku wonder why in the world he had bothered to make such a function.

The test flew by like a blur, the lightening speed and the thrill of such a powerful model overwhelmed his sense, making time fly by like it was nothing. Cecile had to call through the intercom several times to make him reluctantly return.

Stepping out of the frame's control center, he jumped onto the floor below. "So Lloyd, what's this other feature you were talking about earlier? You said it wasn't for battle.. And frankly that doesn't seem like something you would bother programming and developing."

"Well... It's complicated." Cecile sighed. "I don't know why either, you and I are both curious."

Lloyd met the question with a smile. "Well, only one way to find out." He waved casually before waltzing off to the linked controls. "Now, I'll just unlock the security to this and..."

Suzaku stared. "For some reason I'm worried."

* * *

 **Chapter 2: Firmament**

The attempt had failed the first couple of times. So Lloyd had been forfeiting sleep as of late to perfect the mechanism. And that made Suzaku's burning curiosity flare even brighter. What non-battle function had gotten Lloyd this riled up? And more importantly, why was he bothering at all?

He found his questions answered when he headed to the hangar later, only to find that the white and gold frame was missing from its usual position. Instead, Lloyd was excitedly looming over several screens while Cecile was typing furiously on a keyboard. And he found out the reason why when he his gaze turned to the corner.

Sitting in a corner of the room was the knightmare frame. Except it wasn't the knightmare he had been testing for the past several days. The distinctive frame was, for a lack of a better word, much different. And that was the understatement of the year. The signature lustrous armor that had been present on the military prototype was dressed on a typical human, that if not for the sheer insanity of all this, would look like a perfectly normal male. White hair that was tinged slightly with gold covered his head, an antenna-like earpiece sticking from the side. It was difficult to tell at a glance, but it was clear that more gold was framed around the head, in a circlet fashion that was mostly hidden by the pale locks.

Sitting at the side was a sheathed sword, a golden hilt and a crimson blade. Identical to the one that the frame itself wielded, except this was much smaller. Completely ignoring the two technicians, he slowly walked closer to the resting(?) being. And when he approached, garnet eyes that glowed with an unnatural light glanced up at him, though it was in no way hostile.

In fact, it could be described as a pet getting used to a new owner. It was analyzing him, and it unnerved the brunette as the unit stood up. But to his own surprise, all he received in response was a formal bow and an introduction. "Hello, Suzaku Kururugi."

Suzaku hid a surprised flinch at the response. "Um... Are you... Actually Lancelot?"

Meanwhile, within Suzaku's mind, he was already formulating a plan on how he would pin Lloyd down and demand an answer for this absurd situation. Of all the things he thought the Earl would develop, this didn't even make the top five hundred.

"..Yes, yes I am." Was the response that brought Suzaku back to reality. "And I do have to say, you've been an excellent pilot..." He commented absentmindedly.

This was going to be interesting.

* * *

 **Chapter 3: Peaceful Sky**

It was a day where Suzaku was excused from military duty, which was fairly rare in of itself. It had been a few months since the 'Black Rebellion' had begun, underneath a terrorist who was only known by the name of Zero. Suzaku himself wondered who was underneath the mask, but he shut down his own curiosity in the name of duty. His job was to catch Zero, not figure out who he was.

Another thing had happened over the past months. He assumed it was just a result of him hanging around too much, but Lancelot's resulting personality had turned out alarmingly like his own. It wasn't really a complaint though, but Suzaku found it rather odd that his own knightmare frame would develop a personality, much less one similar to his. Though he supposed it fit the name which had been given to the advanced prototype. He wasn't completely familiar with the story, but Lancelot was the name of a knight of the round table, from an ancient fairytale he had read once more.

Something about a king named Arthur and the knights of the round table, which apparently had been the inspiration for the Knights of the Round, the most powerful pilots who reported directly to the Emperor himself.

He also realized something.

While he was on break, he was terribly bored. It was normally Lelouch who came up with suicidal ideas like this, but he decided that the risk would be well worth the end reward.

Around an hour later, he had successfully convinced Lloyd to let him take the knightmare frame out of the hangar and into the nearby forest that surrounded the test zone. If he was to be using this frame for a while, it couldn't hurt to get a bit closer to it. He wasn't even sure how he wanted to describe the resulting humanoid form. An android? Close enough.

Long story short, he had dragged a rather silent but willing knightmare out with him to a nearby clearing, with much fewer trees than the surrounding forest. Situated near the center of the field was an apple tree, one that he had often hung out underneath when he had the time. The thick leaves provided ample shade from the sun, and the juicy fruits that would cause the branches to droop grew plentifully when the weather was warm.

By the time he arrived, the frame trailing behind him looked rather confused, as he was tilting his head to the side and glancing at Suzaku with a questioning look. "Suzaku Kururugi, is there a reason you've brought me out here?" The being questioned, moving from side to side as if he were nervously fidgeting.

"No, not really." He answered, pressing his back against the sturdy bark of the apple tree.

"Then.. Why..."

"No reason in particular." He responded. "But then again, I guess it would be good to let you see the world from a non-battle standpoint. I mean, it's all you do and you deserve a break like me, not just sitting in the hangar all day..."

"...Okay."

* * *

 **Chapter 4: Future**

Even more time had passed since he had last brought the Lancelot to that same clearing. The war against the now-known Black Knights was in full swing, and he was even more busy than before. If the military could, they would deploy Suzaku at every possible chance. Wether it was for strategical use or to try and get him killed, he didn't know.

Over the past weeks, the knightmare frame had developed an alarming amount of humanity. In fact, it was beginning to concern Lloyd and Cecile that Suzaku was so unbelievably close to the prototype, as if they were brothers rather than just partners in battle.

Suzaku had always waved off their concerns. In his mind, he was fine with having the Lancelot as a friend. There was nothing wrong in that to him.. besides the fact that Lancelot was a machine and he was a regular human.

Okay, maybe that was a little weird.

But he didn't regret it in the slightest. At the start, the Lancelot had insisted that it was no more than just a knightmare for his usage, and shouldn't be cared for personally by him. The haunting words still echoed through his head, in fact.

 _"Suzaku, stop worrying about me. I can be repaired, and you can't. They can rebuild me, but if you die you're gone. They can lose me, but if you're gone, we're all going to be gone."_

"Stop it." He snapped back at the frame. "No, you're not just a machine. You're a friend. Nothing is going to change that, even if Lloyd chains me down into a chair and gives me a ten hour lecture on the fact that you're a knightmare. I don't care about any of that! Stop acting like you're disposable, because to me you're not!"

 _The response he had received was shock, but that quickly dissolved into an innocent smile. "If it's for you, Suzaku."_

 **Chapter 5: Consolation**

* * *

Ever since a certain incident, Suzaku had ascended to the status of a Knight of the Round. The knight of seven, to be more exact. Despite him being an eleven, however, the other rounds had treated him relatively fairly, particularly Gino, the knight of three. And Suzaku had also noticed that Lancelot and Gino held quite a resemblance once they were placed side to side.

Guilt still gnawed at his heart, despite him having willingly turned in his best friend, Lelouch, to the Emperor in exchange for his rise to the position of knight of seven. Even though Lelouch had been Zero, it was still his friend underneath that tinted mask.

Though what had been done was done. He had forcibly held his friend's only remaining normal eye open for the Emperor to cast his own Geass that had forced him into living a new life of lies.

He nearly laughed at the irony of the situation. Lelouch's given name... The origin of it held the meaning of 'one-eyed', and the sheer hilarity of the situation was quite remarkable, even to him.

It was a rare day off again, and Lancelot was resting besides him under the apple tree which he had brought him to long ago. The eyes of the knightmare frame were closed, as if he were asleep. Though it wasn't really necessary for him to rest at all, considering that as a machine, he could run for as long as he wanted as long as he had the energy for it.

Suzaku grimaced at remembering that one time where he had run out of energy in the middle of battle, but Lancelot still assured him that he was perfectly willing to give his life for him...

Even though his life was artificial, created by science rather than given.

That alone was enough to tell him that his frame trusted him beyond all possible mention. Even though his entire personality and existence was made around battle, he gave Suzaku absolute and unconditional trust, obeying his orders to the letter even if it was the most absurd command he could give...

His abnormal scarlet eyes and gleaming mechanical armor had constantly betrayed the fact that he wasn't human, but in his own mind and heart, Suzaku thought of him no less than anyone else.

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Dream**

One night, Suzaku had abruptly sat up in his bed, drenched in his own sweat and tears. The haunting dream of Lelouch sitting before him, chained to his Zero persona against his will.. And him being absolutely powerless to stop any of it. It frightened him beyond measure that Lelouch might return once more to be Zero, and that he would have to fight his best friend on the battlefield once more... He didn't want to fight Zero.

He didn't want to fight Lelouch. And truth be told, it would be a great thing if he didn't fight. Because that would mean that the war was over and that peace had returned.

Too bad that was no more than just an idealistic dream.

What he was alarmed to see as he woke was the tall, confident figure of Lancelot standing there. Even in the pale moonlight, the gold-and-white armor glowed with a luminosity that he had come to recognize was his friend. But... He was certain that Lancelot had been in the hangar before he went to sleep, then why was he here all of a sudden?

In his bedroom no less? And how in the world did he pass all the guards?

"I heard you crying." Lancelot answered pointedly, as if he were reading Suzaku's mind. "Remember, we're connected by much more than a system." That was right. The knightmare had grown on him to the point where they begun to share a connection of sorts.

Suzaku felt a hand on his shoulder. "But you didn't have to come..." He begun, but was cut off.

"Just because I'm a knightmare doesn't mean I should leave you be when you need consolation." His frame rebutted. "You were there for me. It wouldn't be fair if I wasn't willing to do the same for you. After all, you are a friend... I suppose..." His voice fell quieter, as if he were uncertain.

"No, it's fine. You are."

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Forgotten**

Lloyd's progress on the Lancelot Albion was alarmingly quick. A newer model of the Lancelot, updated with the latest features developed for Knightmares, such as the energy-hover wings. And as a result, he was called on more and more to test his newer model that would take the place of his current model, which was slowly becoming outdated.

Even in the face of the future, however, he refused to abandon the unit which had been with him for all this time. The brilliant white armor and swirling, golden designs had become embedded in his memory, along with the vermillion eyes that shone like diamonds in a velvet display case.

Except instead of light, those shining diamonds reflected determination, strength, courage, willingness, and loyalty. It reflected Suzaku within those bright cardinal orbs, showing his will through his fighting.

And he was quite proud of that. Lloyd and Cecila had been encouraging him to shatter his connection with the current Lancelot, since he would eventually have to abandon it fully soon. The current model simply didn't have the power to stand up to models like the revamped Guren which was now in the hands of the Black Knights, piloted by Kallen, who was easily capable of rivaling Suzaku when it came to knightmare piloting. And they were quite evenly matched, until not even the Lancelot could stand up against the massive technological upgrades the Guren had received.

After that, Lancelot had lapsed into a fit of what could be best described as depression. Suzanne had attempted to cheer up the frame, but it proved to be no use. Although he still seemed quite happy that Suzaku was still willing to visit him.

In fact, for the prototype frame, Suzaku's presence seemed to be all he needed. Even though he would only sit in the hangar as Suzaku tested the Albion for improvements and refinements, he was perfectly fine with being obsolete.

Except that deep inside, he wasn't. Jealously pricked at him, constantly making him doubt his own belief. And to a degree, he even begun doubting the words Suzaku had said to him long ago. But he always fought off the jealously, refusing to allow it to sully the relationship between him and his pilot.

Or former pilot, as Albion would put it. Most of the more powerful knightmares had developed human-like forms and personalities, and Albion's irritated Lancelot to no end.

Then again, wouldn't anyone be annoyed at having their known fact of inferiority brushed against them by a superior? But through all this, he still clung tightly to Suzaku's words, and the belief he would fulfill his promises.

He wouldn't shut him down because he wasn't just an outdated knightmare frame. He was a friend to Suzaku, not just a machine or a test prototype. And he wanted to believe those words, but recently, he was finding more and more doubt creeping onto him as Suzaku begun to talk and speak to him much less often. Sure, Suzaku was busy, but...

He still wanted to believe his words, even to the end.

Lancelot refused to doubt those words. And he never would, no matter how obsolete and useless he became.

* * *

 **Chapter 0: Absolution, Eternity  
**  
It was official. Suzaku became the Knight of Zero, and ever since then, he hadn't used the Lancelot. And Suzaku felt even more guilty. The frame had been with him for ages, and yet he just discarded it in favor of the more advanced and newer Albion. It was as if the whole time, his experiences with the frame and his promises were null and void.

And all that was left were broken mirrors, shards of the past that haunted the present. Whenever Suzaku went to the hangar where both models of the Lancelot were stored, the original copy was always sitting against the wall or within the launch pad. He didn't look at Suzaku anymore. The once bright carmine eyes that would gleam with the upmost strength and determination were dulled and lifeless, filled with none of the power they once held.

It crushed Suzaku to see him like this. The one whom he had shared so many times with, the one who had been willing to die for him in a nonexistent heartbeat if it would save him... Completely broken and completely shattered.

In his hand was the golden key Lloyd had given him so long ago, when he first received the Lancelot as a prototype model, and when the knightmare was no more than a terrified child first looking at the outside world.

The activation key never lost its radiance, even after all the time it had been left untouched. He remembered Lloyd saying that he could permanently deactivate the Lancelot if he wished, using the slot that was installed at the neck. It would clear the system information and send the unit into a sleep that would never end.

It was essentially death.

But perhaps, for the model that no longer held any purpose or use, death would be merciful in comparison to Albion's constant insulting and taunting. And of course, the horrible truth that you were fully useless, powerless in the face of a foe.

Suzaku was well acquainted with that fear, and he didn't want anyone to suffer it if he could help it.

 _It's better for him if I just deactivated him. He doesn't deserve to suffer like this, after all he was willing to go through, for my sake. I won't allow it, and... It's for him.  
_  
Even though it broke Suzaku's heart at the realization that he would be betraying the promise he had made. That he thought of the Lancelot as so much more than just a machine, more than just a prototype that would be discarded once he became obsolete. And he promised that he would never shut him down.

Yet here he was, holding his activation key in his hands. It was the plug to the support that was keeping the Lancelot alive. As soon as he inserted the key and turned it, it would be less than a minute before the unit would power down.

He begun walking toward where the unit was sitting. Just in front of the launch pad, looking at the sky that he used to soar and dominate with Suzaku as his pilot. And those times were over for good as Albion replaced him entirely. His heart echoed with pangs of pity for the knightmare, and even though it was merciful to shut him down...

It still hurt him so very much, to betray the one who he never thought he would have to. He had been unconditionally loyal to him, willing to fight for his sake, and comforted him like how the other rounds would...

And yet here he was, preparing to betray both him and his own promise.

Lancelot's reaction was quite immediate at hearing footsteps. "Suzaku?" He inquired. "Is there something..."

His words were instantly cut short as the unit caught sight of the golden key that Suzaku was clutching in his right hand. The key used to awaken him, and the key that would forever silence him once it was turned again.

"Suzaku... Are you..." Lancelot's voice trembled as he begun backing away. "I... I... Did I do something wrong? I swear, if I did... I'll do anything to correct it.. I just... Don't want to die..." His tone was no longer full of confidence, his posture no longer filled with authority and strength. There was nothing left in him that made him the unit he once was.

All because Suzaku had allowed Albion to replace him. The once proud, yet mature and patient unit was no longer the same prototype Suzaku had been riding within in the past. He was back to being a terrified young child with the sword of deactivation held over him.

"No, you didn't." Suzaku reassured, walking closer only to have the Lancelot back away further.

"Please... I... I don't want to be shut down. Everything's fine Suzaku. I can't really ask for any more than seeing you. Really, it's all I need." A forced smile was upon his face. Haunting words echoed through his mind.

 _False tears bring pain to others. A false smile brings pain to oneself.  
_  
He violently thrusted the thought out of his head. "Please... Lancelot. I don't want to see you like this anymore. I won't allow Albion to constantly pick on you anymore. You don't deserve to be treated like this because someone's replaced you. To me, you're still a friend. You're not just a prototype frame, even if that's what everyone calls you..."

Lancelot continued backing away until he hit the wall of the hangar, realizing that there was nowhere else to run. And really, what would he have to gain even if Suzaku deactivated him? He was an outdated frame, no longer useful for battle. Albion outclassed him in every single way, and so did most other custom knightmares. He wasn't human, either, just a machine.

In the end, this was the way it was meant to be.

Suzaku slowly approached, as to not startle the unit. "Listen. I won't forget you. Even if you're gone, you'll become eternal and live in my memory. I won't let others put you down just because you're not as new and powerful. To me, you're still the one whom I've used to vanquish the enemies of the empire."

Ruby eyes stared up at him. "Suzaku... Remember what we ended up promising to one another?"

The knight of zero froze in place. The promise he would never shut him down, no matter what. "Yeah.."

 _"Even if someone were to call you a liar_  
 _And try to hurt you with their heartless words and judging eyes_  
 _It doesn't matter if the entire world won't believe you_  
 _And tries to put a crown of thorns on your head_  
 _I will stand by you, always_  
 _Because I know that loneliness, and that pain_  
 _Everything I am belongs to you_  
 _I'm yours."_

"I still remember." Suzaku assured him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You would always be there for me, no matter how small or big it was. And you did it not because I ordered you, but because you really cared for me. You were my partner, and you never abandoned me, even if I was falling into my own despair."

There was no response. "Suzaku.. I don't want to go. But if it is your will, then let it be done. I trust that you'll always make the right call. I'll accept death, as long as it's by your hand. Even though I don't want to do this.. It's your choice. And I will respect that."

Suzaku refused to let his tears show as he placed a hand against the shoulder of one of his closest friends. The collar that was placed against the Lancelot was connected to a small panel, which held a small slot where the key would go. Suzaku pressed the golden key in, and it clicked in flawlessly.

 _"Now you have something precious to protect  
But if you don't know how to do it and you're standing still_  
 _And you lose all your possibilities and darkness covers you_  
 _And the despair is about to swallow you up_  
 _I'll be the light that shines on you_  
 _And not even the king of the world can extinguish it."_

The words of the past continued haunting Suzaku as he turned the key slowly, Lancelot watching silently without objection. Even in the face of death, he was so fearless and willing to follow through to the end. Suzaku only wished he could be as powerful, facing the end with a smile and without fear.

He turned the key fully and pulled it away. He was about to stand, but heard one last word.

"Suzaku... Despite all this..." Lancelot's voice was growing quieter as the internal systems were shutting down for good. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that... I'm just not good enough. I'm sorry that I can't match up to Albion... In the end... I guess this wasn't really meant to be. You're one of the most talented knights out there, and I... I was just a vessel for you."

 _"If you can get to know me someday  
I'll always be there for you  
Even if there isn't a shred of hope here_  
 _Even if I become something that wasn't supposed to be_  
 _I know more than anyone_  
 _That you won't forget me_  
 _So now I'll give you  
_ _Everything I am"_

"That's not true!" Suzaku snapped. "You don't have to be sorry, because it's not any of your fault! None of this was! You can't blame yourself for this because you weren't the cause of any of it!" He wasn't able to stop the tears that were already threatening to spill over. And they did.

Crystalline tears splattered against the ground as Suzaku wrapped his arms around the unit which was rapidly fading away. In a few more moments, he would be gone for good.

"I don't.. Want to believe that every word you said back then was a lie. Even though my entire existence was a lie, you were the one shred of truth that refused to abandon me. Yet, that promise you made to me.. I was never your friend, was I?"

Those were the final words he heard before the system silenced itself completely. Lancelot was gone, and there was no bringing him back. He was gone, and he was gone for good. All those moments they shared would only remain as memories, since Lancelot himself was gone.

Even though he ended up deactivating the unit, breaking the promise he made, he still believed that his dear friend was much more than just a machine. He didn't want to leave him be like that. His last sight was meeting the broken promise that Suzaku had vowed to keep, no matter what would happen.

And it still hurt. The sting of betrayal hurt. The thorns of pain jabbed at him as he simply collapsed against the deactivated unit. Lancelot appeared to be simply asleep, but he knew that wasn't the case. He was gone. Gone for good.

 _"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise to you! First it was Euphemia, then it was Lelouch, and now it's you... I'm sorry I failed my promise... I'm so sorry..."_

Anguished cries and quiet sobbing echoed through the hangar that day. Nobody dared approach the knight of zero for the rest of the week, seeing just how broken he was on the inside. Even though he smiled and greeted everyone, his heart was wounded beyond belief.

One day, Gino decided to try his luck in cheering up Suzaku. "Suzaku... I know that you're really upset, but.. I just wanted to check if you were okay." Gino's bright smile was still plastered on his face, as it almost always was.

Suzaku glanced up at Gino. And he couldn't help but see his now-deactivated unit in Gino's smile and expression. They looked so similar, and... It only hurt him more to be reminded that Lancelot was gone. He was gone for good. He could wake up in the middle of the night again, but Lancelot wouldn't be there at his side when he did. The unit was gone, for the love of all that was good. It had been several weeks since he was gone, yet...

It still hurt so very much. Whenever he saw Gino, he saw Lancelot reflecting back at him. Every time he looked at the knight of three, he saw a courageous and loyal knightmare looking back at him.

 ** _"No, Gino. I'm not okay."_**


End file.
